WWE#96— How do you avoid unnecessary discussions?—This little thing can have a big impact on…—Isn't it silly to play a game you are sure to lose all the time?


Hi 👋-Dror here.

Hope you’re doing well.

Here’s your Wednesday Weekly Energy #96.

3 minutes of reading, 3 ideas to grow.

Let's start

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New in the blog this week

The difference between manageable difficulties and those that become more serious is (often) hidden in one belief. Discover it here…My Problem Is Temporary. A Belief That Can Change Your Life (Available in French as well as all new articles.)

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🚀Grow yourself—How do you avoid unnecessary discussions? (and make people around you happier)

I recently added a reflection question in the morning. "What would I do differently if I could relive yesterday?"

And invariably, moments come up where I could have avoided unnecessary discussions.

Often, it's three little words that cause it. "No" "But" "¨However."

Marshall Goldsmith, a behavior change expert, explains this in his book. What Got You Here Won't Get You There.

When you start a sentence with ‘no,’ ‘but,’ ‘however,’ or any variation thereof, no matter how friendly your tone or how many cute mollifying phrases you throw in to acknowledge the other person’s feelings, the message to the other person is You are wrong.

It’s not, ‘I have a different opinion.’ It’s not, ‘Perhaps you are misinformed.’ It’s not, ‘I disagree with you.’ It’s bluntly and unequivocally, ‘What you’re saying is wrong, and what I’m saying is right.’

Nothing productive can happen after that. The general response from the other person (unless he or she is a saint willing to turn the other cheek) is to dispute your position and fight back. From there, the conversation dissolves into a pointless war. You’re no longer communicating. You’re both trying to win.”

Our need, to be right even for the most trivial things generates a lot of useless discussions.

Marshall suggests replacing those words("No, but, however.) with "Thank you."

It doesn't mean you agree. You just thank the person for the suggestion. It gives you time to think, throw it away, or keep it.

How can I improve?

I will measure the number of times I use these words for a week and try every day to do better. ( warning, It's easier to talk about it than to do it 😀)

Why?

Because "thank you" makes people around me happier and limits useless discussions.

Give it a try.

How To Grow Yourself Daily? What I Learned From Reading Over 300 Books And Testing Different Options…

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👨‍💼Grow your career—This little thing can have a big impact on the commitment of your teams.

You’re never more committed than when you choose to do something.

And yet, many meetings end with, thank you to get those actions done for next week.

It feels more like an obligation than a choice.

When possible (and it often is), try this instead

  • What do you want to achieve?
  • What are your options? There are many ways to get to the same goal.
  • What do you choose to do?

Commitment brings more results than obligation. Offer this gift to the people who work with you.

8 Habits To Grow Your Career. What I’ve Learned In 20 Years And After Reading Over 300 Books.

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💰Grow your money—Isn't it silly to play a game you are sure to lose all the time? (and how to change)

We know that.

We understand it.

But we keep doing it.

And when we do, it affects our confidence, makes us feel bad, or worse, leads us to poor decisions.

“He is only 30 years old and look what he has achieved”

A good way to improve on behavior is to combine reflection and action.

  • How many times did I compare myself yesterday? (Measure)
  • How did I feel? (reflection)
  • How could I have done it differently? (What can I learn from this person's experience?)

And do it again the next day. As you go along, you will program yourself to react as you wish, replacing the comparison with curiosity or any other value that interests you.

10 Reasons Why I’ve Been Journaling Every Day For 7 Years. (that Might Inspire You)

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Last week's more popular link.
Awaken The Giant Within By Tony Robbins. What I Learned From Rereading This Book.

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Whenever you’re ready, I can help accelerate your growth with 1:1 coaching.

Thank you for reading. 🙏

See you next Wednesday.

Dror


The Wednesday Weekly Energy.

Hi, I'm Dror. I ran a 9-figure business as an executive and decided to leave corporate at 46, financially independent. I write for ambitious leaders who want to succeed in their careers while enjoying their lives.

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